Bowing in Bert Hellinger’s Family Constellations Technique
I did a bow with my dad using this technique; I’ve already been through it, eh. I really did start crying, as you saw.
First I told my husband’s soul to stand, then I bowed to him with the words: “I give you honor.” My back hurt, but I managed with love. He immediately called our son’s soul and said: “Take a picture of mom bowing :)”
I invited my father’s soul and bowed, and it was hard, but when his soul said it wanted to bless me, I cried. Something stagnant and nasty came off my back, and today I feel a lightness that I had tried unsuccessfully to break up with massages.
You were right that it works immediately.
Parents are tormented by the lack of properly ordered relations with their child. Everyone wants the best, and if it doesn’t work out, a debt arises in the soul that must be repaid, along with worry for the lost little child. Healing one’s relationship with one’s children results in the parent getting rid of the burden from the heart. After such a bow I saw the parent’s heart brighten.
A bow in Bert Hellinger’s family constellations technique is described by its author as follows: it is performed toward one’s parents and toward one’s own victims, to show them the due honor and respect.
We kneel, forehead bowed toward the ground, palms open upward.
However, I see it somewhat differently than B.H., and I would not encourage the worship of anyone on Earth or in invisible worlds. The posture previously indicated in Islam seems appropriate to me for worshiping the Creator. On one’s knees one can worship God, but other beings—other people—are then being honored at one’s own risk. Worshiping another person (a soul) is a lockpick for idolatry. Souls have different intentions: one (a parent) will decide that at last their effort has been respected, and another will decide they have you in their grasp—because you worship them like God.
A friend recently heard literally: “After all, you bowed and worshiped me, and by that you acknowledged my superiority and submitted like a dog.”
Instead of the words “I worship you,” I propose:
- “I love you, Dad” — toward parents.
- “I respect you.”
- “I’m sorry for …”
- “I forgave you…”
- “I forgave you for what was truly wrong and for what I considered to be evil directed at me.”
- “Thank you for everything, for …”
- “I am grateful.”
- “I give you the love of my heart, the pure love of my soul.”
I encourage this technique. Let us always precede our bow with a prayer for inspiration and for divine protection—so that it won’t be the case that “one person sits opposite another in a chamber and they worship each other like deities.”
It’s also worth, to gain practice, making the first bow toward God: “I worship You …” and let the following words flow by themselves…
This post has 10 comments
- Mariola writes:
16/12/2010 at 19:49 (Edit)
You raised a very important issue regarding bows. I think that with not every soul this ritual brings identical effects, when it comes to schematic bowing and giving respect.
Between souls we have very different entanglements; it isn’t always the simple perpetrator–victim scheme.
I got the quickest visible positive effect with my parents’ souls. It was a one-time ritual. As if my parents’ souls were waiting, ready for the final arrangement of a good relationship with the child.
With my children’s souls there weren’t any special complications either, although I had the impression that one of them likes it when I bow to her. It surprised me a bit. The worst went with my twin soul. It’s a pity that the person who led this ritual insisted on absolutely blaming me for this not very successful process. I tried to explain that it isn’t that simple, nor is it obvious that only the perpetrator–victim scheme is at work here. I’m glad there is someone who noticed this. I’m not a specialist in Hellinger, but I was missing other options here.
Reply - s_majda writes:
17/12/2010 at 22:08 (Edit)
An acquaintance bowed today to her illness. The work was done not with a person “representative,” but with an energetic personification. After all, an illness has no soul, has no referent; it is only the name of a certain weakness, or a complex of energetic blockages.
She chose the illness’s gender, its height, clothing, etc. I placed it about 2 meters from her, directly in front of the kneeling person. B. Hellinger discovers in the ill their interest in the illness, and sometimes very warm relations. Sometimes there is no other solution than merging into oneness.
My acquaintance bowed to the illness without worship, with full respect. She apologized for keeping it so long. “I allow you to leave my life forever, along with the intentions, habits, needs that kept you with me.” She saw how the Illness (its energetic personification) left the room.
It is certainly worth bowing to one’s ailments. We can also bow to the egregore of the family and of the country we live in.- a school crush
- in bulk to all our karmic victims
- to everyone killed in wars
- to those who suffered in various ways from our hand, word, and thought
etc.
Reply
- s_majda writes:
18/12/2010 at 13:00 (Edit)
For karmic Buddhists, Tibetans, and renunciant bodhisattvas (monks of other religions), it may be important to bow energetically to the initiating person. In my case it was the Karmapa himself.
Even more important will be bowing to the energetic personification (image) of poverty, misery, destitution—and sending it away from one’s life.
Reply - s_majda writes:
30/01/2011 at 17:48 (Edit)
I read your articles about Hellinger’s constellations. If I wanted to do a constellation toward P., should I imagine him, bow, and what else? What should I convey to him?
Sławek
14:36:30
Without worship, thank for everything, bless, forgive all the evil he did to you.
Aleksandra
14:37:36
Evil in previous incarnations?
Sławek
14:38:01
Yes—him and his soul; bow for both simultaneously.
Aleksandra
14:38:37
If something is to connect me with him, I want the relationship between us to be healed.
14:38:55
Is it enough to do it only once?
Sławek
14:39:15
That’s why you bow. I don’t know; for me and an acquaintance it’s enough. Maybe later do separately for another matter.
Sławek
14:39:59
Do it toward dad without worship—begin with him separately first.
Aleksandra
14:40:22
Actually with my father it’s the worst.
14:40:29
I can’t stand him.
Sławek
14:41:11
Hence the problems, illnesses. I’m going to eat, bye.
14:41:16
Hence.
Aleksandra
14:41:18
ok
14:44:33
I know, everything starts with father; I don’t have a normal pattern. If I imagine, for example, an angel, then should it look physically as it normally looks?
Sławek
14:44:48
Yes.
14:45:08
Seat him like a sick person.
Aleksandra
14:45:20
ok, this could be interesting.
14:45:36
But I’ll speak in Polish 🙂
Sławek
14:45:43
Dad too—from imagination.
14:45:45
Yes.
Aleksandra
14:46:29
You mentioned the possibility of possession during this exercise—is it actually dangerous?
Sławek
14:47:15
Ask for protection. It’s possible someone else comes if God isn’t in it. But for you it’s rather unlikely; go ahead, ask and do it.
Aleksandra
14:48:00
ok, tell me one more thing, I don’t want to bother you
14:48:29
Will Paul in some way feel it when I do this exercise?
Sławek
14:48:46
He must.
Aleksandra
14:48:56
Positively?
14:49:02
Is it enough to say what I want to convey in the constellation only in my thoughts?
Sławek
17:12:33
Out loud.
Aleksandra
17:12:39
ah
Sławek
17:12:42
Like in the book.
Aleksandra
17:12:51
I understand.
Sławek
17:12:55
He described several bows there.
17:13:29- Lie down next to dad—him beside you on the right side—and wait about 15 minutes with hope.
Sławek
17:13:52
See that he is there.
Aleksandra
17:14:06
And what next?
Sławek
17:14:42
There will be a tendency toward solving the problem; surrender to it.
Aleksandra
17:14:58
That must be incredible.
Should I do the same with P.—lie him next to me?
Sławek
17:16:22
I don’t know; I’d do that only with tensions in a relationship.
Aleksandra
17:16:29
ok
17:17:26
Regarding parents, can I do it even if I live with them and they’re nearby in another room?
Sławek
17:20:06
Yes, but lock the room so they don’t come in, or tell them not to enter. Especially the first time, peace is important.
Reply
- Lie down next to dad—him beside you on the right side—and wait about 15 minutes with hope.
- s_majda writes:
06/02/2011 at 15:59 (Edit)
I made a bow toward God, and right away when I stood up anxiety and tears appeared—suddenly, something is choking me.
[15:52:16] Sławomir Majda: so blocks on the throat, contempt for the Creator
[15:52:28] Urszula: throat yes
[15:52:34] Sławomir Majda: old bad words and grievances toward Him
[15:52:34] Urszula: in the throat
[15:53:09] Urszula: it was so sudden
[15:53:40] Urszula: and I apologized only for one thing
[15:55:48] Urszula: I’m afraid of my parents, they want control over me; once they locked me in the house and turned off the cellphones, internet; since then I’m afraid to go back there, I feel like in prison. Should I also do the Hellinger bow?
[15:56:02] Urszula: to them?
[15:56:22] Sławomir Majda: of course—without worship. Seat each separately on a chair. Separately and one by one, not together; thank, apologize, you may cry hard.
[16:05:45] Urszula: it doesn’t work, I can’t, closed heart, they too
[16:06:06] Urszula: I can’t open up
[16:06:21] Sławomir Majda: just bow, don’t whine
[16:06:26] Sławomir Majda: a few words
[16:07:18] Sławomir Majda: if you don’t move with parents you won’t achieve much
[16:07:28] Urszula: I can’t, I don’t know how
[16:07:33] Sławomir Majda: do it
[16:07:50] Sławomir Majda: otherwise your cervical spine will sit down, as you wish
[16:13:02] Urszula: ears
[16:13:31] Urszula: in both of them
[16:13:40] Sławomir Majda: ?
[16:14:11] Urszula: first I cried, then bows
[16:14:31] Urszula: after the bow at each, a deaf feeling from the ears, I can draw it
[16:14:33] Urszula: white
[16:14:41] Urszula: I can draw
[16:16:03] Sławomir Majda: ok
[16:16:25] Sławomir Majda: then ask God for support always
[16:16:47] Urszula: I asked for protection
[16:16:48] Sławomir Majda: so that it reaches them and apparently there is something you still need to say yourself
[16:16:57] Sławomir Majda: to them separately
[16:17:11] Sławomir Majda: apologize for haughtiness—they didn’t hear that
[16:17:30] Sławomir Majda: for your constant stubbornness
[16:17:48] Sławomir Majda: for that blackness of energies and clothes
[16:18:01] Sławomir Majda: for the current man
[16:18:44] Urszula: haughtiness there was
[16:18:48] Urszula: oh there was
[16:25:45] Sławomir Majda: maybe you pushed nonsense into them through incarnations and now they didn’t want to listen—apologize
[16:26:34] Urszula: I told them nonsense and they didn’t want to listen?
[16:31:18] Urszula: I apologized, now there was no more white in them
Reply - Ela Gajewska writes:
24/02/2011 at 21:05 (Edit)
Can one bow to the soul of an animal? Wouldn’t that be worship? Will an animal’s soul understand “I’m sorry”? Can one ask for a Divine Judgment with an animal’s soul?
Reply - s_majda writes:
25/02/2011 at 21:00 (Edit)
A soul will be a soul. So we can talk not only with the soul of a living human, but of a cat, dog—even a fruit fly.
Let’s assume someone works as a butcher, or has a chicken farm for slaughter; in some way they limit the animals’ souls in their expression in matter, cause suffering. Buddhists who today respect every form of life may have behind them karmic experiences similar to the karma of an animal executioner.
In the great emotions after the death of my beloved dog, every form of settling accounts with his soul was useful.
Reply - s_majda writes:
02/04/2011 at 13:46 (Edit)
Can I bow to Jesus and ask his soul for help so that God acts through it?
Sławomir Majda wrote: not like that. It must be done differently
Sławomir Majda wrote: ask God to act as He wants
A wrote: aha 🙂
[20:55:25] Sławomir Majda wrote: and with him too you need to heal separately and wait because he will answer
[20:56:07] A wrote: answer?
[20:56:18] Sławomir Majda wrote: you’ll see
[20:57:14] A wrote: so for him a standard Hellinger—without worship, apologies for harm, acceptance that he is not God, forgiveness of harms, respect for the Soul
[20:57:24] Sławomir Majda wrote: yes
[20:57:36] Sławomir Majda wrote: with divine protection
[20:57:50] A wrote: is it important to say “I give the whole love of my heart”?
Something with those energies seems real, because I finished the bow for Jesus, went to hug the cat and it started purring, which is very rare
[2011-03-30 20:22:35] Sławomir Majda wrote: and didn’t you feel Him?
[2011-03-30 20:22:51] A wrote: I was afraid to raise my head
[2011-03-30 20:22:56] Sławomir Majda wrote: haha
[2011-03-30 20:22:59] A wrote: but I raised it
[2011-03-30 20:24:06] Sławomir Majda wrote: repeat with a request to be freed from fear
Reply - Sławomir M. writes:
06/05/2012 at 21:24 (Edit)
Example bows:- toward the Souls and all beings who used satanic books written by the Soul
- toward the Souls of Freemasons and all beings who initiated my Soul into Masonic lodges
- toward the Souls and all beings who received from my Soul all Masonic initiations
- toward the Souls and all beings my Soul may once have persuaded to join the ranks of ……
- toward the Souls and all beings who forbade my Soul, me, and other personalities to study, educate themselves, express creative thoughts and behaviors
- toward the Souls and all beings to whom the Soul forbade learning, education, and expressing creative thoughts and behaviors
- toward the Soul of Alexander the Great
- toward the Souls who served under Alexander the Great
- toward the Souls killed in Alexander the Great’s war by that personality of my soul
- toward the oppressors of that personality of my Soul who served under Alexander the Great
- toward the beings who supported Alexander the Great’s conquests
Reply
- s_majda writes:
23/04/2019 at 21:44 (Edit)
Intentions of making a bow because behind us when we bow—or behind those bowing to us—stands someone with a whip, or pressuring in various ways.
Opublikowano: 04/03/2026
Autor: Sławomir Majda
Kateogrie: Prayer techniques
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