Being Harassed at School by Later Alcoholics – intentions, part 1, from the position of the victim

I have a question for you, Sir. I asked GPT about childhood patterns. Some older children did not like me, many of them boys who later died as alcoholics. What stood behind this, since I was not provocative? The chat wrote this to me, as attached. And if you can help me write intentions, please do.

“Possible patterns do not have to mean that you did anything provocative. Sometimes a child becomes disliked precisely because he does not fit into the field of aggression, emotional poverty, group violence, or the later alcoholic pattern of those boys.

I would see several possibilities most strongly.

1. You were ‘different’ to them, so you triggered group rejection

Older children, especially boys already moving toward toughness, the street, alcohol, violence, or contempt for weakness, often dislike a child who is more sensitive, calmer, thinks differently, and is less herd-like. You did not have to provoke them. It was enough that you were not ‘one of them’.

A pattern may have been operating: this one is not from our group, he does not speak our language, he does not pretend to be a tough guy, he does not participate in our brutality, so he can be diminished.

2. You may have had visible gentleness or spiritual distinctness within you

Aggressive children often instinctively sense gentleness, intelligence, brightness, distinctness, sensitivity, focus, or a lack of need to prove strength in others. For boys from harsh environments, such a trait can be provocative in itself, because it reminds them of something they do not have or something they were forbidden to have.

Pattern: I cannot stand in you the fact that you are not like me; your calmness shows my chaos.

3. You may have been a screen for their own shame and future self-destruction

Since many of them later died as alcoholics, it is possible that already in childhood they carried records of family chaos, violence, lack of love, humiliation, poverty, drinking fathers, overburdened mothers, and homes without tenderness. Such children often discharge tension onto someone who does not respond with the same brutality.

It was not about you having done something. You may have been a safe object of projection for them: onto him one can throw one’s own anger, shame, helplessness, and sense of inferiority.

4. You may not have fit into the boys’ hierarchy of strength

In groups of boys, a primitive hierarchy often operates: who is louder, who is more insolent, who hits, who is not afraid, who has older friends, who can humiliate someone weaker. If you were not provocative, you may have been read not as calm, but as “someone to be tested”.

Pattern: since he does not attack, we need to see whether he can be placed lower.

5. You may not have taken part in their “initiation into toughness”

Some boys learn early that masculinity means noise, swearing, contempt, drinking, risk, fighting, mockery, sexual boasting, and cruelty toward the weaker. If you were outside of this, you may have irritated them, because your presence undermined their way of building masculinity.

Pattern: whoever is not brutal like us is foreign, soft, ridiculous, or fit to be humiliated.

6. You may have carried within you a “light” they did not want to see

In your language, one could say cautiously: some children carry within themselves a different quality of presence. They are more attentive, more “seeing,” more focused, less immersed in herd stupidity. For children already burdened with violence, an alcoholic lineage, heaviness, and contempt, such a presence may be uncomfortable.

Pattern: your presence reminds me that I am going into a darkness I cannot yet name.

7. You may have been unconsciously placed in the role of scapegoat

In a group of children, someone often appears upon whom the group regulates its tension. Not because he deserved it, but because the group needs someone “at the bottom” so the rest can feel stronger. The older boys may have built a bond among themselves through a shared dislike of you.

Pattern: we are together because we do not like him.

8. You may have been too calm in the face of their inner violence

A non-aggressive person can be irritating to an aggressive one because he does not play the same game. The aggressor sometimes needs provocation in order to justify his own violence. When he does not receive it, he may attack anyway, only more absurdly.

Pattern: I hate him because he gives me no reason, and yet I still need someone to hit.

The most probable synthesis: you were not provocative, but you may have been different, calmer, more sensitive, less herd-like, less brutal, perhaps more seeing. For boys from lineages and environments later moving toward alcohol, violence, and self-destruction, such distinctness may have been difficult to bear. They were not attacking a reaction to your behavior, but their own tensions which your presence activated in them.”

Authors: Sławomir Majda, Małgorzata Krata, Elżbieta. The identical recurring fragment, forming the core of the idea, is as follows: “own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves”.

Organized freeing oneself from burdens – links to texts, information about recordings, working with intentions, the bow technique >Link.

Technical issues concerning the idea and the construction of sentences when working with intentions.
Art. “800 intentions for cleansing” Link.“One-sentence scheme for intentions.”Link.
Film “The bow after performing intentions” Link.

The word “–not” added to some word while working with intentions means that it is worth expressing it also in its opposite, or even finding and saying aloud any synonyms that come to mind together with their opposites. For example — when saying: being poor, being sick, it is good to say it also with its opposite:–being poor, being sick, –not being poor, not being sick. This allows you to move a given pattern as broadly as possible, touching different aspects, including its opposite. It is also worth knowing that Souls often think or claim that they do not have such opposite patterns — for example, that they are not idolaters in a given case (in a given word). Another example: A woman’s Soul denies ever being a bad mother. Therefore, adding here the negating form — not being a bad mother — may allow her to understand the state she is in. Being a bad mother, –not being a bad mother–“—Oh, absolutely not, never in my life! These are certainly not my patterns. What I do is my private matter.” [—The Soul very often says or thinks this about itself.]

1. own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, trust, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from God Himself, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this,

2. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from all genders of humans, Souls, beings, entities, constructs, animals, plants, extraterrestrials and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this,

3. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from, among others, all kinds, meanings, species, genders and forms of existence of, among others, active and inactive deities, goddesses, divine mothers, divine fathers, divine sons, divine daughters, divine families, Goa’ulds, associates of God, gods, demigods, Asuras, Saints, gurus, masters, teachers, Messiahs, angels, including astral among others Archangels, cherubim, seraphim, astrals, rulers, administrators, owners and creators of astral worlds and soul trees, prophets, and environments acting independently or through intermediaries and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this,

4. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from, among others, physical and astral snakes, worms, predators, viruses, pests, fungi, mold, insects, microorganisms, bacteria, microorganisms and macroorganisms, reptiles, parasites, symbionts, inhabitants of our and others’ energetics, as well as from, among others, all spirits, demons, strzygas, possessing entities, mythical creatures, mythical beings and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this,

5. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from, among others, our and others’ all kinds of miracle workers, healers, folk healers, bioenergy therapists, doctors of body and Soul, of miraculous divine healings, from owners, administrators, fanatics and structures of various initiatory practices, among others religious, parareligious and such as Reiki, from witches, magicians, shamans, visionaries, oracles, from signs in heaven and on earth, from sorceresses, sorcerers, from magic, from elements, yogis, tantrics, and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this,

6. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from, among others, all those establishing criteria of purity, guilt, merit and readiness, including the enlightened, those enlightening, whitening and correspondingly blackening themselves and others, among others humans, Souls, beings, parts of our and others’ Soul and being, from those striving for nirvana, for salvation, liberation, redemption, achieving them, from admirers and creators of all astral compressions, all heavens, hells, paradises, purgatories, astral worlds and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this,

7. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from, among others, all atheists, agnostics, heretics, followers of Baháʼí, tribal religions, polytheism, animism, totemism, Taoism, Shintō, Sikhism, Jainism, ahimsa, Ayyavazhi, followers of Wicca, followers of Buddhism, druidism, voodoo, Theravāda, Mahāyāna, Chan, Zen, Sŏn, Amidism, Pure Land School, Tendai, Shingon, Tibetan Buddhism, Nyingma, Kagyu, Sakya, Jonang, Gelug, Bon and not only, as well as from their priests, creators, followers, promoters and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

8. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from, among others, Jesus, the Apostles, the Church Fathers, All Saints, the Our Father, the Holy Spirit, as well as, among others, followers, creators, priests and administrators of all Christian sects, among others Old Catholicism, the Utrecht Churches, national churches, Mariavitism, Catholicism, Eastern Catholicism, Greek Catholicism, the Roman Catholic Church, sedevacantism, conclavism, Palmarianism, Lefebvrists, Anglicanism, Orthodoxy, from Byzantine churches, Orthodox churches, Old Believers, Popovtsy, Bezpopovtsy, Skoptsy, Old Calendarists, Oriental churches, Copts, Syriacs, Assyrian churches, Adventists, Millerism, Anabaptism, followers of Arianism, Baptism, Moravian Brethren, Plymouth Brethren, Hussitism, Calvinism, Congregationalism, Presbyterianism, Quakers, Lutheranism, Mennonitism, Methodism, Pentecostalism, Salvationism, Unitarianism, Waldensians, Amish, Restorationism, the Bábí movement, Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Association of Free Bible Students, Holy Missionary Movements, followers of Unitarianism, Mormons, Churches of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Community of Christ, Afro-Christianity such as Aladura, Harrism, Kimbanguism, Lumba and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

9. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from, among others, followers, creators, priests and administrators of, among others, cosmologies, ascetic practices, concepts of purity and defilement, enslavement, including, among others, Jainism, Digambaras, Sthanakavasis, Śvetāmbaras, Gnostics, followers of Manichaeism, Mandaeism, from all branches and sects, among others, Vaishnavism, Krishnaism, Shaivism, Lingayats, Shaktism, Mazdaism, Persian religions, Mazdakism, Mithraism and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

10. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from followers, creators, priests and administrators of the world of Islam, among others Alawites, Alevis, Kharijites, Sunnis, Shiites, Imamis, Ismailis, Zaydis, followers of Sufism, Ahmadiyya, Black Islam, Moors, the Nation of Islam, Druzism, Ahl-e-Haqq, Zikris, scripturalism, Quranism, Yazidism and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

11. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from, among others, promoters, creators, priests and followers of all sects and factions of Judaism, among others Falashas called Black Jews, Messianic Judaism including Hasidic, Conservative, Orthodox, Progressive, Reconstructionist Judaism, Karaimism, Mosaicism, Samaritanism and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

12. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from, among others, creators, organizers, administrators and followers of so-called new religious, spiritual and parareligious movements, charismatic such as, among others, Bábism, Baháʼí, Cheondoism, Cao Dai, Shakers, Cargo Cults, Falun Gong, Modekngei, New Age, Realism, Rastafari, Scientology, Quan Yin Method, Wicca, “I Am,” Asatru, Hellenism, Slavic Native Faith, International Intelligent Yoga, Transcendental Meditation, Divine Light Mission, International Society for Krishna Consciousness, Neo-Sannyas (Osho), Radha Soami, Sathya Sai Baba, Swaminarayan Faith, Harrism, Confucianism, Santería, Sikhism, Shinto, Taoism, Zoroastrianism and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

13. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from promoters, creators, priests, administrators and followers of all, among others, beliefs, religions, sects and factions, as well as inhabitants of supercontinents, continents and prehistoric, primal and mythical lands such as, among others, Pangaea, Gondwana, Atlantis, Lemuria, Mu, Gobi, native religions of Africa, Australia, Oceania, Asia, Europe, the Americas and other places on Earth and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

14. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from, among others, all kinds of tyrants, despots, sociopaths, executioners, terrorists, blackmailers, judges, lawyers, prosecutors, accusers, masters, rulers, superiors, supervisors, employers, co-workers, clients, payers, manipulators, hypnotists, kings, princes, courts, advisors, messengers, notaries, secretaries, structures of state, religious and administrative authority, as well as from all creators and promoters of various destructive inventions and practices, including such as implanted substances, viruses, parasites, bio-robots, artifacts, as well as games and plays such as Jumanji, the Infinity Stones, the Rings of Power, Game of Thrones and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

15. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from all kinds of civilizations, among others carbon-based, silicon-based, crystalline, energetic, material, as well as, among others, all planets, constellations, cosmos, stars, moons, comets, asteroids, galaxies, cosmic dust, black holes, suns, celestial bodies, from their movements, positions, influences, among others gravitational, energetic, radioactive and symbolic, as well as all, among others, their owners, administrators, creators, tenants, users and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

16. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from all kinds, sizes and meanings of our and others’, among others, amulets, talismans, garments, artifacts, gadgets, objects and instruments, plasma, musical, magical and non-magical, from rings, seals, wands, elixirs, herbs, smokes, incenses, songs, mantras, sacred texts, plants, animals, divination methods, rituals, superstitions, from Holy Communion, from offerings made to someone or something, devotional items, images, figures, sculptures, paintings, states of intoxication, sacraments, drugs, sweets, addictions, alcohols, spiritual and physical ecstasies, shamanism, mysticism, all utopias, escape from reality or submission to promises of fulfillment, salvation, power or perfection and not only, as well as, among others, all kinds of their creators, promoters, owners, users, beneficiaries and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

17. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from all kinds, sizes and meanings of, among others, all forms and causes of enslavements, confinements, entanglements such as, among others, nets, ropes, chains, leashes, collars, cells, prisons, cages, hooks, stocks, restraints, pyramids, protomolecules, structures operating openly or covertly, temporarily or permanently, locally or systemically, their equivalents, substitutes and not only, as well as all, among others, their enthusiasts, creators, promoters, beneficiaries, victims, guards, witnesses and followers and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

18. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from all kinds and sizes of, among others, rituals, cults, nominations, anointments, permissions, guidelines, agreements, oaths, promises, contracts, orders, prohibitions, bonds, missions, vows, pacts, acts, arrangements, treaties, other forms of formal or symbolic binding of will, functioning through granting binding power to a given word, gesture or act, through sanctioning obedience and disobedience, regulating access, status and responsibility, reinforcing dependencies through promise, threat, reward or punishment, as well as normalizing subordination as law, duty, mission or destiny and not only, as well as all, among others, their creators, promoters, beneficiaries, priests, guards, victims, witnesses and followers and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

19. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from our own and others’, including licensed, among others, guards, verifiers, collectors, mediators, bailiffs, intermediaries, witnesses, creators, founders, security personnel, representatives of opposition, censors, promoters, beneficiaries, victims of our and others’ actions, intentions, manifestations and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

20. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from, among others, all kinds, sizes, meanings, genders, races, species of, among others, parents, caregivers, dependents, teachers, spouses, lovers, children, siblings, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, entire lineages, families, communities, social strata, grandfathers, grandmothers, relatives and non-relatives, from persons of the same or different gender, as well as from our and others’, among others, elements of physical and energetic structure, organs, tissues, cells, atoms, converters, systems and assemblies, biological, physical, chemical, energetic, clock-based, digital, their mechanisms of operation, feedback loops and boundary states, all programs controlling them at all levels, spaces, planes, elements and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

21. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, beliefs, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from all kinds, meanings, ranks, levels, genders of, among others, associations, brotherhoods, communities, communes, schools, unions, organizations, collective structures, including, among others, administrative, military, civil, secular, medical, financial, religious, messianic, spiritual, economic, public, political, criminal, intelligence, sexual, drug-related, alcoholic, state, global, cosmic, multidimensional, spacetime and not only, and not experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

22. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from, among others, weather, nature, elements, the time of day and night, the season, date, calendars, astrology, astronomy, numerology, meteorology, ambient temperature, pressure, frequencies, cycles, colors, sounds, rhythms, vibrations, humidity, the height of the Sun in the sky, from the factor of time and not only, and experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

23. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from, among others, our and others’ codings, from thought-forms, blockages, burdens, patterns, points of view, ways of understanding, from entanglements, crosses and karmic knots, from karmic figures, relationships, schemes, from conspiracies of silence, from planetary cycles, from the wheel of karma, from the wheel of fortune, from flat and spatial geometric figures, from anomalies, from mirror reflections, from fate, chance, accumulation, from lotteries, statistics, feedback loops, from luck, bad luck, curses, spells, letters, words, signs, symbols, digits, numbers, alphabets, mandalas, tattoos, from confirmation effects, from repositories of burdens and patterns, from determinants, ornaments, chips, injuries, disabilities, diseases, from emptiness, vacuum, nothingness in the mind and life, as well as from their producers, promoters, victims, beneficiaries and not only, and experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

24. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this through the normalization of the role of the human and the Soul as an object of worship, in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity, intentions and correspondingly their absence from, among others, our own and, through us, others’ all idolatrous figures, acts, intentions, designs, patterns, habits, as well as from those who pray to us as to gods, to deities, to beings not of this world, to masters, Saints, to the enlightened, to astral beings; as well as from those treating us, or others, as intermediaries to God, intermediaries to all deities, goddesses; as well as from those worshipping us, praising us, adoring us; as well as from those who pray for us to deities, goddesses, extraterrestrials in our name, in our matters, for our good, and correspondingly from those who curse us in prayers, cast curses and spells, who want to take revenge in all ways and not only, and experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

25. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from all, among others, varieties, associations, groups, circles, ideological, ritual and operational currents, among others demonic, satanic, Luciferian, war-related, military, magical, black-magical, tantric, black-tantric, white-astral, flame groups, the Left-Hand Path, as well as from, among others, battle shock, from pogroms, turmoil, from black suns, necromancers, beings of gloom, beings of darkness, forces of evil, demons, rulers of hells, guardian devils, Cainites, Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub, Kali, strzygas, beings and Souls that have fallen, horned, rebellious, deceitful, aggressive beings, filled with pride, egoism and not only, and experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

26. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from all kinds, sizes, races, meanings and genders of conditions connected with sexuality, drive, role and behavior, including, among others, sex addicts, lesbians, gays, transvestites, rapists, sadomasochists, celibates, eunuchs, brothel madams, pimps, prostitutes, deviants, perverts, pedophiles, zoophiles, coprophiles, coprophages, incestuous persons, pansexuals, hormonal cycles, from inbreeding and not only, and experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

27. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this because of, among others, our and others’ actions connected with the End of the World, in the period of 2012, with other Ends of the World, with the search for God and ultimate meaning, with Apocalypses, Armageddons, with the ends of civilizations, epochs, orders, with our and God’s actions in the area of the cosmic egg and during subsequent Aeons, with creating or blocking extraordinary actions, as well as through cyclical resetting of meanings, responsibility and identity in the face of an expected or postponing end, new beginning or rebirths and not only, and experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

28. and own, and through us other people’s, from all causes and by all means, being a child who was disliked, rejected, diminished, mocked, harassed, or placed lower by older boys and older children, even though he was not provocative, aggressive, or provoking, carrying within himself the question of what was wrong, foreign, irritating, or not fitting into the group in me?; appropriately experiencing oneself as a calmer, more sensitive, separate, less herd-like, less brutal child, or one less involved in boys’ rituals of strength, noise, mockery, violence, rivalry, and humiliating the weaker; appropriately functioning within a pattern in which the very distinctness of the child, his gentleness, focus, non-aggressiveness, brightness, different psychological rhythm, or lack of need to prove toughness are perceived by older boys as something provocative, foreign, or uncomfortable; appropriately carrying within oneself the experience that one may be disliked even for karmic guilt, for being different, for lack of belonging to a hard warrior-like group, for not fitting into brutal codes, for not participating in the language, violence, contempt, or later alcoholic pattern; appropriately surrendering to God the belief that if the group did not like me, it meant that I must have been guilty, worse, weaker, or deserving of rejection; appropriately being a child onto whom older boys threw their own tensions, shame, anger, helplessness, family chaos, domestic violence, emotional poverty, alcoholic patterns of the lineage, sense of inferiority, or fear of their own future self-destruction, making me a screen for what they themselves were unable to name or bear; appropriately experiencing another person’s aggression as incomprehensible, unjust, and disproportionate, when the child gives no real reason for attack and yet is treated as someone who can be diminished, tested, ridiculed, or placed lower; appropriately functioning in relationships in which older children build bonds among themselves through collectively disliking, excluding, or humiliating one child, needing a scapegoat in order to feel their own strength, belonging, and superiority, or even karmic acting-out; appropriately carrying within oneself the memory of childhood incomprehension as to why calmness, lack of provocation, gentleness, or difference did not protect against aggression, but sometimes attracted it instead; appropriately surrendering to God all records of being a place onto which others throw their own chaos, shame, violence, alcoholic fate, and hatred of themselves and not only, all this in dependence and correspondingly in independence from, among others, the will, guidelines, opinions, actions, commands, resolutions, suggestions, inspirations, graces, generosity and correspondingly their absence from, among others, our Soul, our entire being and not only, as well as from being healthy or physically ill, energetically stable or unstable or mentally-psychically ill, curably ill, or chronically, or incurably ill, as well as from being disabled persons, persons with injuries, persons ailing, directly ill or having symptoms or karmic effects, inbred effects, among others, of various diseases, ailments, infirmities, from genetic, epigenetic, environmental burdens and not only, and experiencing that which is our own and, through us, caused in others, all effects of this

Opublikowano: 18/07/2026
Autor: Sławomir Majda
Kateogrie: Psychology – being yourself

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