Vampires and Zombies, or Homosexual Gay Men

Motto

“We vampires are slaves to blood; it is everything to us.”
— True Blood (TV series)

I have never, ever been interested in vampires, zombies, or similar creatures living and preying at night. While watching online productions on platforms such as Netflix and HBO, I came across the series What We Do in the Shadows, followed by two others, iZombie and True Blood. I remembered that many years ago I had read that all productions of this kind were based on patterns and burdens originating from the world of male homosexuals. Screenwriters drew heavily from it, and this is supposedly easy to recognize.

Anal sex is characteristic of gay and bisexual men. To avoid repeating this term constantly, I will use an alternative expression: “rear practices.” This phrase was popularized by the Polish parliamentarian Braun during a speech in parliament when another man was pressing forcefully against, among other things, his back.

Everyone understands that gay men and anal sex, just like vampirism and drinking blood, are connected in this interpretation. But where do female vampires come from? Perhaps some light can be shed on this by a story from another television series about people with superpowers, Misfits.

A young man shows an older man a somewhat faded photograph of a woman standing with four men and asks whether he recognizes himself in the picture.

“Yes, that’s me,” the man replies.

The young man takes a deep breath.

“In that case, you are my father, because this is my mother. Do you recognize this young woman? Did you have sex with her?”

“Yes, I recognize her. That is Mary Analna. We had sex, but for precisely that reason I am not your father.”

In this context, True Blood portrays a young female vampire as an eternal virgin because her hymen continually regenerates. According to this interpretation, “rear practices” also protect against the loss of virginity.

Why is stepping into sunlight fatal for nocturnal vampires? Let us consider why priests dressed in black and promoters of what is described here as “black spirituality” are said to burn themselves by promoting God, just as vampires burn when they step into the blazing sun.

Imagine a clergyman of any religion speaking about God and His light while dressed entirely in black. On the Internet, many people dressed in black promote what they call “spirituality.” They do so while wearing black clothing and appearing against black backgrounds. Is it difficult to understand, according to this view, that a person dressed in black is unable—and indeed cannot—meaningfully or properly speak about God’s Light? How can someone dressed in black, whose own interests are portrayed as conflicting with God’s plan, serve as a credible promoter of Light and Divine Radiance?

Zombies are infertile. According to this interpretation, gay men, like zombies, have sex only within their own community for non-reproductive purposes. A gay man, like a zombie, has difficulties with women. Even when a woman is willing, new circumstances continually arise that discourage her.

A zombie cannot have sex with a non-zombie because the other person would become infected. Therefore, once someone is a zombie, they must seek another zombie as a sexual partner. Vampires, however, are portrayed as somewhat less strict.

If the word “zombie” were replaced throughout this discussion with “homosexual,” the text would, in the author’s opinion, become easier to understand.

For example, when a vampire (implicitly interpreted here as a gay man) attempts to have sex with a woman, it supposedly does not go well. In iZombie, such beings cannot have sex with anyone except others like themselves because “zombism” is transmitted through droplets, and even two condoms cannot prevent the virus from passing through. Likewise, the author argues that if gay men have sex with one another, an aphrodisiac—in one form or another—cannot be avoided. It will always be part of the experience, and even two or ten condoms cannot eliminate awareness of it. For non-gay readers, the author adds that this aphrodisiac is allegedly desired by both active and passive gay men.

After obtaining this aphrodisiac “at its source,” the author claims that some gay men metaphorically “wear it on their faces.” According to him, clairvoyant individuals can supposedly perceive this aphrodisiac wherever it has been placed, including around the mouth. Film vampires are often depicted with the blood of their victims on their lips, and he considers the explanation to be analogous.

It is also worth paying attention, according to the author, to people—especially men—who wear hats indoors. In iZombie, when people become zombies, their hair turns white, and they sometimes begin wearing hats. He speculates that people wearing hats in film studios where the temperature reaches 26°C may also be supporters of “rear practices.”

There are several episodes in zombie series where a bitten person must transform into a monster and subsequently goes berserk. The author speculates that, in real life, such a person might calm down after receiving what he describes as a “gay aphrodisiac” and the accompanying stimuli.

An acquaintance who practiced regression and dowsing allegedly concluded with the help of a pendulum that garlic is effective against “vampiric” individuals. In literature and films, vampires are destroyed by garlic and silver. The author asks how this might manifest itself physically among gay men.

He argues that this is not necessarily another absurd idea. He frequently notices women—particularly single women or women who prefer black clothing—wearing between 200 grams and half a kilogram of silver jewelry. Incidentally, women dressed in black, whom he compares to witches, are said to have a fondness for silver. Perhaps, he speculates, this is how they protect themselves from “the vampire,” that is, from a man who is not only homosexual.

Vampires dream of the sun, perhaps of enlightenment. The author observes that many well-known religions in which, according to him, communities of gay men flourish speak about enlightenment but promote various deities, regional gods, and demigods instead of the Light of God. Vampires are creatures of the night illuminated by the moon rather than the sun. He further speculates that argyria (silver poisoning) might somehow be a consequence of vampirism or homosexuality.

These are not encouraging conclusions for admirers of cinematic vampires and zombies, whom the author encourages to read the Homosexual Almanac > Link.

The author also wonders why vampires are portrayed as impressing others with their speed and ability to levitate. He admits that he does not know what this signifies.

P.S.
Let us read the motto once again.

This post has 5 comments

s_majda writes:
27 December 2021, 19:14 (Edit)

Children may not yet display such inclinations, but they may allegedly reveal the “karma of a vampire” from a very early age, not only in the USA.

s_majda writes:
28 December 2021, 16:32 (Edit)

True Blood reveals another alleged secret of vampires. Fairy blood functions as a drug for them. This blood supposedly possesses extraordinary properties that allow vampires to function in sunlight. Crossing paths with a good fairy, or receiving such a blood transfusion, is said to be intoxicating. It also supposedly allows them to walk in brightly lit streets.

In the material world, according to the author, this symbolizes appearing on television, creating YouTube programs, or presenting oneself publicly—for example as a fortune teller inviting passers-by with the words: “Have your fortune told! For only five złoty I’ll tell you your future.”

The author continues by arguing that a vampire seeking enlightenment in this way may come to believe that extraterrestrials, deities, Reiki, the Source, or a universal cosmic consciousness can assist them. He recounts that an acquaintance practicing dowsing concluded with a pendulum that he and his friend had become “93% divine.” The author suggests that apparent miracles can easily be proclaimed under such beliefs.

s_majda writes:
2 January 2022, 13:39 (Edit)

A reader wrote:

“This series True Blood is disgusting. A woman reminisces about sex with her vampire and sighs that it hurt at first, but after she relaxed it no longer did. Since I know it referred to anal sex, I see it very differently.”

s_majda writes:
22 January 2022, 08:35 (Edit)

The Netflix series Midnight Mass presents, in the author’s view, similar entanglements to those depicted in True Blood and iZombie. He interprets these films through what he calls karmic patterns, arguing that God’s Light completely burns away every related theory or phenomenon promoting a spirituality that is not based on heartfelt love and divine support.

s_majda writes:
11 September 2022, 18:31 (Edit)

The film Twilight tells the story of a small group of vampires who feed on animal blood. According to the author, this should be considered in the broader context of love for animals, particularly in light of what he estimates to be a 3% prevalence of zoophiles among humans—roughly every thirtieth reader of the article.

Opublikowano: 07/07/2026
Autor: Sławomir Majda
Kateogrie: Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Fantasy and Our Human Souls

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